THE IRON MAN – QUALITY SENTENCES

Our retell of ‘The Iron Man’ by Ted Hughes produced some fabulous quality sentences. Here are a few of them.  Leave a comment to any of the writers, telling them what you liked about their sentences, or giving them tips to improve their writing.

“Then they saw a tail, two horns and two bat-like wings.”  CJ

“It was all over the world with pictures falling off walls, cups and mugs falling off shelves and houses moving side by side.’ SARAH

‘The hill started to shake and shake and SHAKE!’ BREANNA

‘What’s that giant thing in the darkness?’ ADISA-0y

‘”I can’t take it any longer!” shouted the dragon.’ LAUREN

‘”If you don’t accept my challenge, I can’t even bother with you.”‘ MADISON

‘There, in front of you, walking in front the all mighty Iron Man, off into the cliff, then he walks into nothing.’ CATHERINE

‘It was a dark winter night when a weird shape appeared in the sky.’ JOSHUA

‘When he reached the ground, all that was left of the Iron Man was bits of his body.’ HARRISON

‘But the Space-Bat-Angel-Dragon said in one week that he needs food or then he will stick his long tongue all around the world! ‘ RAM

Postie

Brodie, Madison, Amy, Jema, Zoe and isabella comment about our literacy activity, ‘Postie’. We write letters to friends, recommending a book, and telling them how this book will improve their reading.

Do you think ‘Postie’ is a useful activity in our classroom? Leave a comment here to tell us how it bumps up your learning.

GUEST POST – Dion: ‘Hotdog Man, Fuzz and Peg Man’

The evil doctor laughed his evil laugh. “Hoo hoo ha ha! Today is the day to kidnap Peg Man!” He found an open window and crept inside Peg Man’s house.
Hotdog Man said as he jumped out of bed “I am going to call Fuzz. Today’s mission is to catch the evil Doctor.”
Hotdog Man went to put on his costume but it wasn’t there.
He heard a noise.
“Open the door!”
Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” screamed Hotdog man.
Fuzz was in the shower.
“I hate it when you don’t knock before you come in, Hotdog Man!”
They put on their costumes.
They went to catch the evil doctor.
Fuzz said “we better get Peg Man to help us.”
So he called Peg Man but the phone didn’t work.
“Hmm, we better go around to his place” said Hot Dog Man.
Fuzz cried out “he’s not here!”
They saw evil doctor with a cage.
Hot Dog Man shouted “Peg man is in the cage!”
So they chased the evil doctor.
Fuzz screamed “we’ve lost him!”
“Hmm, where could the evil doctor be going? Let’s try the volcano” said Hot Dog Man.
Fuzz noticed Peg Man’s footprints. “Hey we didn’t lose them yet. Look at this!”

Peg Man was scared of the volcano. He screamed. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Fuzz and hotdog Man heard the scream. They went to the top of the
volcano
but they weren’t there.
Fuzz cried “I need a rest!”
Hotdog Man got leaves and gumnuts and they went to sleep.
They woke up and they went to the volcano but they weren’t there.
So they went to the house that was next to them. They looked inside. They heard a noise coming from upstairs. They went upstairs.
And it was coming from the first room. They went in.
“There‘s the evil doctor” shouted Fuzz. “Come on Hotdog Man, let’s grab Peg Man!”
They got Peg Man back. They all ran out of the house as fast as they could. The evil doctor never, ever, ever, came back again.

GUEST BLOG POST: JASMINE. “Happy Easter”

HAPPY EASTER

Dad looked at the calendar with a huge smile on his face. Zoe was still sleeping and so was her little sister Katy.

“Nice sunny day for Easter, isn’t it James” the girls’ Mum Felicity said to Dad.

“It’s not just Easter Sunday today you know” he said.

Zoe woke up.  She opened her bedroom door…AND!!!  Easter eggs! Ha! Easter eggs oh yeah. Easter today!

“Katy!” screamed Zoe. “Come out of your room!  Look Katy! Easter eggs! Read the letter!”

“No, wait for Mum and Dad to wake up.”

“No, I’m not going with you.”

“Okay fine, let’s wait for Mum.”

But Zoe just couldn’t wait. She opened the lid. The smile turned into a frown.

“No eggs” she whispered and a tear ran down her face.

“What’s that crying noise” said Mum as she came down the stairs.

“They’re pretend Easter eggs.”

“What” said Mum.

“Pretend eggs!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Yeah but look.”

The wrapping was empty.

Zoe exclaimed “let’s go hunting. Maybe they are hidden somewhere else.”

“No they’re not in the cupboard.”

” Yes. Okay look under my bed.”

“I looked under your bed. Not there.”

“I’ll go look for them.”  Zoe searched the whole house.

“I’ve being looking everywhere but I can’t find them. Oh no!!!. Hey they’re not real Easter eggs”

Katie started to cry.   “Mum! Dad! They’re not real eggs!”

Dad had a naughty look on his face. “Happy April Fools Day! Check the calendar girls.”

Zoe looked at the calendar.  The date was April 1st.

“Oh!  It’s April Fools Day AND Easter Sunday too.”

Mum and Dad took the girls out into the garden and had the best Easter egg hunt ever with real chocolate eggs this time.

THE END

How do you think Jasmine went with her story? Give her some feedback in your comment.  Challenge: can you spot her best sentence?

THE WONDERFUL PET by Hannah Cole

Hannah made a good plan for her story and then wrote her first draft. With the help of Isabella and Chanel, she added more detail to make her story come alive. Please leave a comment to let her know what she has done well.

“What do you want for your birthday Alannah?” asked her Mum.

“I want a dog.”

“Sorry, I can’t get you a dog. I don’t have enough money.”

Alannah ran to her bedroom crying.

She woke up on her birthday. She found a box beside her bed. She lifted the lid a little bit and peeked in. Two soft ears!  A furry tail!  A pink nose!

“A rabbit! I wanted a dog!  It’s not fair! It’s my birthday!” she sobbed.

Her Mum came in.  Alannah tried to look happy. “Thank you for the rabbit.” But deep inside her heart she really wanted a dog.

Day by day Alannah came to love her rabbit.  Rose the rabbit was very loving. Rose the rabbit was very sweet. Rose the rabbit was very smart. She was so smart that she learnt to do tricks.  A backflip!  A massive jump!  A cartwheel!  She could beg and dance and play dead.

While her dad was reading the newspaper at the dinner table Alannah noticed an ad on the cover. PET SHOW THIS SATURDAY.

At the pet show Alannah felt nervous. She told herself “it’s okay. It will be just like at home, but with more people. Rosie will do her

tricks.”

And she did.

Alannah took the trophy proudly from the judge. When she showed her dad, she told him “who needs a pet dog any way? My rabbit Rosie won the show!”

THE TOOTH FAIRY IN TROUBLE by Madison

BRRIINNG BRRIIING! went the alarm clock. Charlie looked out the window and decided today was a good day to go on another journey to collect some teeth.

Why did this girl collect teeth? Well, she was a tooth fairy and needed the teeth to decorate her new house.  Her castle looked so nice and sparkly all decorated with teeth.

That night everyone was quiet.  Perfect! Time to collect some more teeth. She went to the next house and tiptoed up the stairs. CRASH!  She tripped over a toy. The sleeping girl was startled and woke up.  She turned on the light. She felt something under her pillow.

Yes, yes, yes!

“Hello tooth fairy. Are you tired? Would you like to stay and rest? I will make a little bed for you.”

The tooth fairy smiled and soon she was fast asleep.

The girl woke up early in the morning while the tooth fairy was still asleep.

“I don’t want to let this tooth fairy go” she thought. “This is my only chance to have my very own tooth fairy.”

She put the tooth fairy in a container with some food but the tooth fairy was really not asleep. When the girl left her bedroom the tooth fairy found herself trapped in the box and tried to get out but she couldn’t get herself out.

“I’m never going to get back to my home” she cried.

Later that day the girl’s mum went in to put the clothes away. A noise made her jump! It was coming from a box.  It sounded like crying. She looked and saw the tooth fairy.

“What are you doing in the box, little fairy? You don’t belong in there. I will set you free. After all, you have got work to do all over the world.”

She let the tooth fairy out and then she was free at last and was happy.

When the little girl came home from school she raced into her bedroom and opened the box. EMPTY!

“Mum, it’s gone!” she screamed.

“Yes, you know you can’t keep creatures in a box” said her mother.

The tooth fairy never came to visit the girl again. The girl was left with all her old teeth under her pillow forever.