THE CLIFF
People try to cross The Cliff. Men do it. They are stupid and they get killed.
When they first get to The Cliff, it looks easy. They try different ways of crossing.
They use a skateboard. They think they can get to the landing in between it but they do not succeed.
Someone tried a jet pack. Three people jumped on but they caught on fire and they had to let go. The whole world heard the man scream as he fell. The other two crashed.
One man had a gigantic stick, like a pole vaulter. He put his stick down and with all his strength he jumped. On the other side he met a man who slashed him with his sword.
Do you think you can get across? Do you have the strength and the bravery? You will need one thing more. You will need the help of The Archer on your side of the cliff. He will shoot his arrows and protect you when the swordsman goes to slash you.
Don’t ever try to cross The Cliff by yourself.
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grate job blake.
I really enjoyed it.
it was really exciting and I didin’t no what was going to happen next.
Great writing of the cliff.
It was really good i liked it.
The best part was they are stupid and they get killed
I loved your work Blake.
Me and my mum looked at your work and it was fanstick.
I send a comment in the night time.
Olso i liked the powerfull words that you made that will be a lot of work.
I relly loved your work Blake is being so much fun visiting your work.
I hope you get a nather blog bost that is good.
from Antonio
Blake, I really like how you didn’t write a recount or a narrative, as most people do in Independent Writing time. I like how you made me feel as if I was in danger. The questions that you wrote were very effective. They made me feel like you were talking directly to me and knew how scared I was. I think that you should turn this writing into an e-book. Would you like some help?
cheers
Ms Lockyer
Hi, Blake. I really liked your story. It’s like you were talking drectly to me ! You really BUMPED YOURSELF UP, and what made think that is the part ‘Don’t ever try to cross The Clift by yourself’ and ‘Do you think you can get across? Do you have the strength and the bravery?’. I did’t think you can wright that much and have a not good but great imagrnash. good work Blake !
I feel relly amazed that you fleuency is very good. You really BUMPT UP YOUR MATHS!!!!!. This made me think a lot and a lot. You really puta lot of effot.i realley feel that you lern about safety. You realley can put a the clif part 2. I liked the delucous words that you made like stupid succeed gigantgic bravery archer vaulter swordsman strength.
well blake, you have done a great job of describing your cliff experience. Very proud of your work.
well done
Joshua’s mum
well done Blake what a good job with the cliff story
what brilliant words
Hi Blake,
great work! Josh is inspired by your effort. Keep on keeping it on.
Rusty (Joshua’s dad).
Hi Blake I really liked your story.My favourite bit was when they first get to the cliff it looks easy.When I was reading THE CLIFF I did not know what was going to happen next.ZOE
graet job Blake.
I really enjoyd it.
I did not no what was going to happen next.
I really liked when the man was on a jetpack.Thaks for helping Blake miss.lockyer.
well I do not no what to say next so I gess I shood say good by so good by.
from William!!!!!!
Blake I think I have a other idea what obout the guy with a sword what kind of grin does he have?
From William
Blake I love your writing I could imagine that I was standing on the cliff trying to work out how to get across too. Thank heavens for the archer that is someone I would love to have supporting me. I am really looking forward to your next story. Thank you
Hi everyone,
Blake is very happy that you all enjoyed his story. We are also very pleased with his writing and very proud of you Blake. That’s the beauty of one’s imagination, it can take you anywhere you want to go!
An e-book sounds great Ms Lockyer.
god weok blake i like the story very much.
good work blake when i saw it i was impressed
I liked the cifft bitt it was relly good.marcus.
Hi Blake, I think some of the words are good for word work. Keep up the good work. From Shoma